Remember the Pain

My precious wife and I celebrated this last year our 37th anniversary. We have actually known each other for over 50 years! We celebrate a lot of good memories from all of those years, anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas and thanksgiving holidays, the birth of our grandsons, Jake and Lawson. Glenda often talks about making memories.

There are some things we do not celebrate in our relationship even though they are as real. There was the time that I decided that if we were going to be separated geographically that we should break up. Dumb move on my part. I left home and enrolled at Bethany Bible College in Scotts Valley. The first few months I sent home, on a regular basis, carefully crafted love letters. As my eye began to wander a little, I decided that I would “play the field.”

As soon as we broke up, Glenda took the box of letters, read them one more time then proceeded to burn them in the fireplace saying with great emotions “Lies, lies, lies.” I later came to my senses, and she took me back.

I love America and I am proud to be an American. I have lots of good memories growing up here. I loved the hot summer months in the Sacramento Valley. I love the soaring majesty of the redwood trees. I love the methodically and calming sound of the surf. I love the beauty of Fourteeners that reach toward their maker.

However, there are things that I have encountered as an American that are extremely painful and cause my heart to be burdened to tears. I remember that day as if it was yesterday. I was in Hermit Basin in the muddy mountains of Colorado. It was boot camp September 2001. I turned on the TV to hear the morning news and was shocked to have played out the horrible events of 9-11. It was surreal. This could not really be happening to us. This was the land that God loved. How could He let this happen? We gathered together like shell shocked soldiers trying to make some sense of all of this. We did our best to continue our study and preparations without much success.

Every time I remember, I call up the pain from the deep recesses of my memory, tears spontaneously stream down my face. The pain, sorrow, anger and fear remains in spite of the passage of time. Oh I love the stories of people who miraculously were spared. But I am confident of this truth, some very devoted followers of Christ were lost that day when terror struck America. Glenda and I visited ground Zero some three years later. It left us speechless.

It reminds me that each of us will someday exit this world for the next. “It is appointed once to die.” There is no real “Life” insurance to guarantee me another day. This moment is all I have. What will I do with this moment? Who will I influence toward my Savior Jesus Christ? Who will I love today that needs that tangible expression of “God so loved…”? Who will I hug today that needs to be enveloped to the warm and tender arms of Abba Father? Then there is the ultimate question, “Who is following me as I follow Christ.”

When you think of 9-11, be thankful you have today. Use it wisely!

Fire Under Control

As I approached my temporary home on the farm in Windsor there was a dramatic new feature on the property. Towering some 100 feet tall was a drilling rig. It was amazing to see what the company was able to bring in and set up in just two days. Each piece of the rig hauled in by truck and then fit together like a giant erector set. The smell of diesel permeated the air as several large generators pumped out the needed electrical power to drive the giant motors that in turn pushed the drill deeper and deeper into the earth. The goal was to find the black gold that has been hidden for so long deep in the confines of the earth. Someday soon the oil will be pumped from the earth, into a waiting truck, hauled to a refinery, to be turned into gasoline so that we can power our vehicles.

In 1824 - English engineer, Samuel Brown adapted an old Newcomen steam engine to burn gas, and he used it to briefly power a vehicle up Shooter's Hill in London. It was the beginning of a new age. The Internal combustion engine is based on a premise that if an explosion of volatile gasoline could be confined in a strong and controlled environment it could be turned into mechanical energy that could eventually produce movement. It is fire under control.
The opposite of fire under control are the raging fires that are sweeping across Greece bringing devastation to human life, burning down entire villages and threaten the birthplace of the Olympics. The uncontrolled inferno seems to defy all attempts of man to bring it to a halt. Fire under control is our friend and helper, fire out of control is our enemy destroying everything in it’s’ path.

Fire is a great word picture of passion. I immediately think of the Apostle Paul, first know as Saul. When we first meet Paul in the book of Acts he is a passionate man, possessed with an insatiable desire to destroy the followers of the Way. His life was consumed with his personal mission to annihilate the early church to protect his precious faith. He had no doubt that he was doing the right thing and was on God’s side. He was wildfire, out of control destroying the infant church left behind to continue the work of Christ.

Paul had a come to Jesus meeting on the road to Damascus. The net result was not the dissipation of passion but a change of passion and passion under control. His newly found passion to reach gentiles with the Gospel was fire under control. Very few people have had the impact Paul had on the face of Christianity.

As I reflect on my time as a follower of Christ, I have known many good people who have been fire out of control, damaging and destroying the very mission of the church of Jesus Christ. They “feel” like God had called them to do what it is that they do. They judge, condemn, and declare in a loud voice that they have a corner on the truth.

A mom shared with me recently the brokenness of her heart regarding the condition of her children, none of whom serve God or fellowship at a local church due to the overzealous attack of “Christian” relatives. These family members were fire out of control.

The question for me is this. Is my passion for God expressed by overwhelming love for God and His desire to see all come to repentance? Or is it an angry, vengeful, judgmental passion wanting to see the sinner get what he or she deserves? From where I sit, this world still needs to know “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” Am I fire under control?